I can read it   

Mom:jill  go  and play with your whistle outside.your father cant read his news paper.  

Jill:wow,I’m only 8 and I can read it.

 Have your lunch first

Do you have any thing to say before I pass sentence on you?

Yes ,your honor,I should like you to have your lunch first.”

Our new apartment

I like our new apartment ,but the neighbors can hear everything we say.

Well,why don’t you hang a heavy tapestry on the walls?

But then we couldn’t hear what the neighbors say.’’

The secret

Mrs.Brown:”she told me that you told her the secret I told you not to tell her.

Mrs.Green:The mean thing!I told her not to tell you I told her.

Mrs.Brown:well don’t tell her that I told you she told me.

Geography

She:You used to say that I was all the world to you.

He:Yes ,but I’ve learned a lot about geography since then. ”

I’m talking to my wife

Excuse me,but I’m in a hurry!You’ve had that phone twenty minutes and not said a word!”

Sir ,I’m talking to my wife.”

The wrong answer

Math teacher:If you multiplied  1,386 by 395,what would you get?

Student:The wrong answer.”

A job for the groom 
You mean to say you were not at your own daughter’s wedding?

Where were you? I was looking for a job for the groom.

An Elevator

A little girl was describing her first experience in an elevator .

We got in to a little room .She said”and the upstairs came down.

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